After The Playroom
by Speakfromtheheart
Summary: What if: Ana left after the playroom 'incident' with the belt (End of FSOG), Christian wanted to try again but when Ana reveals that she's pregnant he decides to cut all ties with her and his un born child, What will happen 5 years later? Will Christian decide that he wants to be a father or is it all just too little too late?
1. Chapter 1

What if: Ana left after the playroom 'incident' with the belt (End of FSOG), Christian wanted to try again but when Ana reveals that she's pregnant he decides to cut all ties with her and his un born child, What will happen 5 years later? Will Christian decide that he wants to be a father or is it all just too little too late?

* * *

Ana

_"Dear Diary,  
It's been 8 weeks, 8 painful weeks since I walked away from the only man I've ever loved, The only man I ever want to love, Christian Grey. I left because...Well we're just too different, I see that fully now, 2 weeks ago I got news that would change my life forever, I, Anastasia Rose Steele am pregnant, I'm going to be a mother, It was the biggest shock of my entire life, I was happy, Excited, Scared, Oh so many emotions came out to play that day, I couldn't believe it... I was going to have a little baby, I'm 21 years old and I'm going to become a mother... Saying i'm shitting myself would be an understatement.  
I love Christian but I also love this little baby too, Christian has already told me that he doesn't want anything to do with 'IT' as he put it, Yes I've seen him, I've told him and he wasn't over joyed, I knew he wouldn't be but I didn't expect him to react as badly as he did..."_

Tear drops hit the page and the ink smudges, I reach up to wipe my face and didn't even realise I was crying, rummaging through boxes from Mine and Kate's old apartment always upset me but I needed to unpack, My little angel would be home soon so It needed to be done, I found one of my old diary's in an old box of baby clothes I was giving to a very pregnant Kate, I wanted to keep it was it had memories of my pregnancy in it, Happy and sad memories, My sons first scan, 2nd scan, First flutter of movement, First kick... Everything is all dated and recorded in diary's and baby books, I kept them as memories from a very special time but I also kept them incase Christian ever decided to be the father i know he would be if he ever wanted to be and then I could give them to him so he would read about the experience... Ha I'm kidding myself, Its been 5 years and you've not seen nor heard from him in all that time, Not since that night 7 weeks after I left him...

* * *

7 weeks after the playroom

Holy shit! I'm pregnant, I can't believe it, I don't know how this happened... Wait, I read that if your sick that can sometimes make the pill ineffective, Shit when I was in Georgia I had food poisoning the last couple of days, I was constantly throwing up, I had taken my pill but what if they didn't work? The first thing me and Christian did when I came back was have sex in the shower... Oh fuck! They must not have worked and that's how I fell pregnant, How am I going to tell Christian? Do I need to tell him? _Of course you do you stupid girl, He's the baby's father he has a right to know _My subconscious sneers as she shakes he perfectly manicured finger at me, I'd hate to admit it but she's right, I do need to tell him, Kate left her old laptop here, I wonder if it still works, I could email him... _Or you could phone him? You know actually speak to him as an adult?_ There she goes again, I really do wish I could just bitch slap her and make her shut up... Fuck what am I going to do? _Don't you think you need to get to work? You're going to need every single penny once this baby arrives! _If I could banish her I would but she's right _again, _I do need to get to work, Every penny counts for me and my little blip.

* * *

Work was uneventful, I don't know what I was expecting, Surly people couldn't tell I was pregnant, I didn't run off and throw my guts up in the ladies and I don't think there was a neon sign following me saying 'Expectant Mother Walking' so why did I feel like people knew?

Getting home all I wanted to do was change in to something more comfortable and relax, I'm only a couple of weeks gone, I didn't realise that it the early stages are so exhausting, I can't even have a glass of wine but I can have a cup of tea, Yes that's what I need a nice hot cup of English Breakfast to help relax me and maybe a bubble bath.

I boil the kettle and run my bath, I undress and pull my hair up in to a messy bun, The buzzing noise at the door startles me, I'm not expecting anyone, Kate is with Elliott and she's already messaged me saying she won't be home tonight, I pull my robe tighter around me and lift the receiver

"Hello?"

"Anastasia" I feel as though all the wind has been knocked out of me, Christian? He's here? What does he want?

"Christian" I whisper and I hear a sharp in take of breath through the intercom,

"Ana let me in I need to talk to you... Please" He begs, I almost see him pacing outside, Running his hands through his glorious copper hair, Oh how I want him, _But will he want you after what you have to tell him? _My subconscious brings me back to the here and now, I wanted a way to tell Christian I'm pregnant with his child and now I have it, I unlock my door and open it ever so slightly, I walk back and allow him to enter and to close it behind him, In a single swoop my back is pressed up against the wall and his lips are on mine, Oh god how I've missed him, His toung brushes my bottom lip and asks for entry, I open willingly and soon we are a battle of lips, Teeth, Toungs and hands, We part with the desperate need to breathe, Our foreheads meet and our eyes close both breathing heavily

"Oh Ana I've missed you" He whispers

"I've missed you too" I whisper back, His hands run down from my face, Down my breasts, Down my stomach and I feel myself freeze

"You've put on weight" He points out and just like that my inner goddess flops down on the floor in a huff, _Nice way to kill my mood Grey!_

"Christian we need to talk" I whisper as I gently push him away from me, He looks like I've just punched him, Shock runs across his beautiful features but he quickly recovers,

"I know we do" He sighs whilst running his fingers through his hair, I walk to the couch and sit, Christian walks to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of wine, He takes two glasses and begins to pour

"non for me please" I say as he frowns, I need to keep a clear head to have this conversation even if I would kill for a drink, He comes to sit next to me and places his glass on the table, He turns his body so he's facing me, Taking my hands in his he starts

"Ana, I'm so sorry for what happened when you left, I don't know what came over me, I should have stopped and I regret that I didn't, I want to try again, I want you back, I've missed you, I can't function without you, Please come back to me... Please" I see tears well in his eyes and my heart shatters even more, _Oh my poor fifty, Please don't cry._

"Christian, I've missed you too, I don't know how I survived this long without you in my life, but nothings changed, I can't be what you need, And it's not just about me anymore" I whisper, I can't look him in the eyes, I stare at our joined hands sitting on his knee

"Yes, Yes you can Ana you are what I want what I need, Please you... Wait what do you mean it's not just about you anymore?" I hear confusion and a hint of fear in his voice, I need to do this, Quick like ripping off a band-aid. _Right?_

"I'm Pregnant" I whisper,

"What?"

"I'm pregnant" I almost shout, Christian pulls his hands away from mine like he's been burnt, He gets up and starts pacing, Running his fingers through his hair, I sit there frozen, I know he's pissed but I don't know how pissed, After what feels like hours but is only a few minuets, Christian turns and stares at me

"How? You...You were on the pill" He asks quietly, I take a minuet to remember what Dr. Greene told me

"Ana!" He glares

"I was sick the last couple of days in Georgia, I took my pills at the right times but Dr. Greene says that cause I was sick they must not have worked, And then we had sex when I came back and Dr. Greene thinks that's when I got pregnant" I mumble staring down at my fingers,

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have taken precautions?" He spits, I can hear his control slipping and I know it's probably scaring the shit out of him

"I didn't know, Not until it was too late" I whisper, Tears fall freely down my face and I can do nothing to stop them, I feel the couch dip and strong arms engulf me, Christian presses me against him and tries to sooth me as I cry

"Shhh...Shhh... C'mom Ana don't cry, It's not to late" He whispers, I pull away from him at look at his beautiful face,

"Of course it's too late, I've already lost you" I sniff, Christian sighs and then takes my hands again

"Do you want me Ana?" He asks as he scares in to my eyes, My soul...

"Of course I do" I answer quickly, _Is he stupid? Does he really think I need to think about that?_

"Good cause I want you too" He smiles and I feel a flare of hope in my chest, _Is he accepting the baby? Our baby?_

"What about the baby?" I whisper

"It can be easily sorted" He waves his hand dismissively

"What do you mean sorted?" I frown

"I can book you in to the clinic, We can sort this mess out and then we can be together again" He smiles, _Is he saying what I think he's saying? _

"You... You want me to have a termination?" I whisper, I feel like my throat is closing, Christian brings my hands up to his mouth and kisses my knuckles, He flashes me a sly grin and nods his head, I can't believe what he's just said, He wants me to kill our baby? _My baby?_ No fucking way!

I rip my hands away from his mouth and stand, I walk away from him and now it's my turn to pace, He can't be serious, I know he's shocked and pissed but he can't expect me to kill this baby?

"Ana?" His soft voice brings me back to the here and now, I will not terminate my baby!

"You can't be serious Christian" I glare as he frowns, He gets off the couch to stand in front of me, Placing both his hands on my shoulders he looks me straight in the eyes

"Ana, Il take care of you if that's what your worried about, Don't worry, Once this is over it will just be us again and all this shit will be just a bad memory" He smiles, _He is fucking serious_

"I am not having a termination Christian" I say softly, I hear a sharp in take in breath, He steps back and he visibly changes in front of my eyes, He turns from sweet Christian in to Christian Grey CEO, Christian Grey Dom,

"You will have a termination Ana, Either that or I walk out of that door and we never see each other again... Your choice" His voice is calm and controled and it scares the shit out of me, Usually I would bend to his will when he is like this but not now, _Not today_, It's not just me anymore, I have to protect the little blip growing inside me and I will not put anyone before my child even if that person is Christian Grey.

"The get out" I whisper, I keep my eyes locked on his, Cold, controlling Gray to Protective Blue, I am not budging on this...

"What?" He breathes, I don't think he expected that, I think he expected me to regain the Sub position and beg for forgiveness and the earliest appointment to murder my child

"GET. OUT! I AM KEEPING THIS BABY CHRISTIAN WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! YOU WILL NOT FORCE ME TO KILL MY BABY!" I grit out as he stands there in shock, He soon recovers and there it is once again, His 'I am master of the universe CEO' persona, He takes a step closer to me and I feel like stepping back but I don't I stand my ground

"Your choosing it over me?" He asks coldly, I can only nod

"Say it, Say you're choosing _it_ over me!" He glares,

"Yes I am choosing _MY_ baby over you" I say each word carefully so they can get through to him, He looks down at where my hand is resting on my stomach and smirks

"You've made your choice Miss. Steele" He turns and walks over to the door, He opens it and walks out but before closing it he has to have the last word

"Don't come crying to me when you wake up one morning to a screaming brat and shitty diapers, Cause I won't give a fuck... Good luck Anastasia, Your gonna need it"

The door slams behind him and I slump and slide down the wall, Tears fall again and I place my hand on my stomach

"Don't worry baby mommy loves you, Even if daddy doesn't"


	2. Chapter 2

Ana

A knock at the door drags me from my last memory of Christian, Be it an unhappy one but a memory of him still, Getting up the impatient knock gets louder, I can't help but giggle, So much like his father,

"Who is it?" I call even though I know who is on the other side of the door

"Mommy"

I open the door to see my little angle, My bundle of joy run for me, I scoop him up and hold him tightly next to me, I've missed him so much and he's only been away for half the day

"I missed you baby boy" I whisper

"I missed you too mommy" He whispers back, He lifts his little head and rubs his nose along mine, Just like his father used to do to me, It brings a tear to my eye, I stare in to his beautiful big Grey eyes and i see his father, Theodore Raymond Steele is a carbon copy of Christian, no matter how much I would rather he resemble me he doesn't he is his father's son, Same gray eyes, Same copper hair, Same face, same mannerisms... Same everything

"Do you have a good day?" I ask trying to get rid of the mentle image of the man who walked away from us

"Yeah, Uncle Jason and Aunt Gail took me to the zoo" He smiles, Gail and Taylor have been in Teddy's life since before he was born, I saw them when I was shopping for baby items with Kate when I was about 6 months gone, I was huge, You couldn't miss me, I remember like it was yesterday...

* * *

Ana 6 months pregnant

"Kate are we finished yet? My feet are killing me and so is my back" I whine, We've been baby shopping for hours, Kate's treat as she calls it, _Treat?_ What part of walking around with sore feet and a bad back is a treat?

"Well you shouldn't have let Grey knock you up" She jokes

"Not funny Kate" I glare, I don't find her funny even if she thinks she's fucking hilarious

"Sorry Steele that was wrong, My bad..." She apologizes and I let it go, I don't want to talk about him, I've heard nothing from him since that night and I've given up expecting him to come around with a big bunch of flowers and a huge apology begging me to take him back and begging to be part of our son's life.

"It's ok, I just don't want to talk about him" I mumble as we search through the rails of clothes, They're all so cute, I've chosen some that say 'Mommy's Little Man' and 'I Love My Mommy', Kate has managed to find ones saying 'My Aunty Loves me" And 'Uncle's Little Dude' Obviously they're for Kate and Elliott, We even found ones for Grace and Carrick 'My Nana and Grampa Love me'... I try to bypass the 'My Daddy Loves Me' And 'Daddy's Little Man' ones but I can't get rid of them, I saw one t-shirt that I would have loved to buy it said 'Handsome Just Like My Daddy' but I felt myself tearing up so Kate snatched it and put it back, Oh how I wish Christian was here to share this with me but he's not, He didn't want the baby so il do this on my own.

"Steele? Did you hear me?" Kate yells, She's walked off and I'm still glued looking at the 'My daddy' T-shirts

"Huh?" I mumble as she walks back, She grabs my arm and pulls me away,

"Isn't that Taylor? You know Grey's security?" She asks as I follow her line of sight, Low and behold Taylor is standing by the ladies changing rooms, He's dressed in Jeans and a shirt, Wow! I don't think I've ever seen Taylor without a suit on, I feel panick set in I don't want him to see me, I don't want him to report back to Grey that I'm the size of a house, I don't want to have the image of Christian's smug face in my head

"Kate let's go... Kate!" I sneer but it's too late she's walking over to him, I hold back, Taylor greets Kate with a small smile and a nod, They talk quietly, Just then the dressing room opens and Gail steps out, She walks over to them and talk for a few minuets before Kate walks back to me,

"Hey" She smiles and I glare at her

"Hey, What the hell was that?"

"Don't get excited, Think of the baby"

"Baby?" _Shit!_

I turn to see both Taylor and Gail standing behind me, From the back you can't tell but from my very prominent bump there's no mistaking it

"Ana, Oh my God your pregnant?" Gail whispers has her hand goes over her mouth, I look at Taylor and he looks angry, _Didn't they no?_

"Yeah, 6 months gone actually, Didn't you know?" I frown looking between them, Gail shakes her head with tears in her eyes and Taylor... Taylor still looks to mad for words

"We didn't know anything Ana, Mr. Grey never said a word" Gail sniffs as she hugs me softly, Being careful of my baby bump, Just then he gives me a very hard kick, So hard that Gail gasps and backs up

"I think he likes you" I smile

"He?" She looks at my bump with wide eyes

"Yeah he's a boy" I giggle, I've missed both Gail and Taylor a lot, They were like family to me but even they were cut out of my life when I fell pregnant

"When are you due?" Taylor finally speaks up

"November 8th" I smile hoping to lighten his mood, He looks like he's doing some serious thinking, Suddenly its like a light bulb goes off behind his eyes and they darken

"I'm gonna kill him" Taylor sneers as he balls his fists, I've never seen Taylor properly angry but I don't like it

"Taylor no" I shake my head as he stares at me in disbelief

"Yes Ana, We didn't no a thing about the baby, All we knew is that he wanted to get you back and then he came back to Escala pissed, He never spoke about you again, And when he did it was to tell us that know one was to mention you again, Does he know about the baby?" He asks softening his voice

"Yes, When he came to see me he wanted to get back together, I told him I was pregnant he didn't want the baby, He left" I whisper, That's the edited version, That's the one I've told everyone, Kate, Elliott, Grace, Carrick, Mia, Ray, My mom, Bob everyone, Now Gail and Taylor, I don't know why I won't tell them the truth, I could easily say that he gave me and ultimatum, Him or the baby, I chose the baby.. I could easily say that If I wanted him I had to kill my child and If I wanted the baby I would lose him... But I don't.

"Oh Ana I'm so sorry dear" Gail says hugging me again, I don't want to cry but I find it so hard to stop once they've started, _Damn hormones_

"Ana, We're so sorry things didn't work out between you and but we want you to know that we are here for you, Right Jason?" Gail pulls away to find Taylor nodding

"Of course Ana, Just because that bastard doesn't want to be part of his life doesn't mean we don't either" He smiles, I feel thankful for all these lovely supportive people in my life who are all willing to step in for Christian,

"I would love that, How about Aunt Gail and Uncle Jason?" I smile as they laugh,

* * *

After that day I had regular texts and phone calls from both Gail and Taylor, They were my rocks aswell as everyone else, I asked them not to utter a word to Christian about seeing me and the both promised they wouldn't, I was thankful for that.

"Hey Ana" Gail smiles as she enters my home with Jason trailing behind her holding what looks like bags of toys from the Zoo shop, I roll my eyes, Every time Jason and Gail have time off together they always take Teddy out for the day, And they always end up spoiling him with something or another

"Hi Gail, Jason what have you been buying him now?" I glare acting annoyed, Jason and Gail both know me well enough to know this is the routine we go through whenever they take Teddy out

"Ana... We're allowed to spoil our nephew, When he's with us we can buy him what we like... Quit whining and help me with these bags" Jason smiles as my glare breaks, It doesn't help that Gail is standing there laughing her ass off at our bickering, I sigh and help him bring the bags in

"Oh my god, Did you buy him the entire shop?" I ask as we bring bags and bags in from the car, I shake my head in disbelief, Jason Taylor is a force to be reckoned with when he and Teddy are together

"Oh my God woman, Stop yacking and help me, My little man won't be happy if he doesn't get these if the house before his bed time" He smirks as I roll my eyes, Everyone underestimates Taylor, They think he's quiet and sullen but he's not off duty he's funny and kind, I can see why Gail loves him so much.

"Yes, Yes alright keep your shirt on" I mumble

"I heard that" He glares

"You were ment to" I smirk as he sticks his tongue out at me

"Ok children, When you've quite finished, Me and Jason need to go wrap a certain little mans birthday present for tomorrow" Gail smiles

"Gail you buy him enough"

"Nonsence dear, Now let's go say goodbye to Teddy bear and then we will see you tomorrow" She smiles as her and Jason head off to Teddy's room, I leave them to their little goodbye and go and start on Teddy's tea, Gail and Jason come back and each give me a hug, Gail's always been a hugger, Taylor not so much, He got used to them while I was pregnant, Ever time he saw me I would hug him and not let him go till he hugged me back so now he just gives in.

"We'll see you and the birthday boy tomorrow Ana, I can't believe he will be 4 time sure does fly" Gail says as she gives me a kiss on the cheek, and then they're gone,

I thought my regular routine of eating dinner with Teddy, Playing with him, Bathing him and then reading him a story, He's so tired he doesn't last through the end of the book, I tuck him in and kiss his soft copper hair

"I love you Teddy" I whisper as I walk out of his room

I have a lot stuff still to finalize for tomorrow, I need to call Grace and Carrick to see if everything is ready for my little mans special day, Grace said that she wanted to offer Bellevue as the stage for Teddy's party, I was a little unsure about it seeing as I didn't want to run in to Christian but she assured me that Christian wouldn't be there, Whether that's because Grace and Carrick don't want him there, Or he can't be bothered to make the effort I don't know and I don't want to know.

I dial Grace's number and wait, She picks up in the 2nd ring

"Ana dear" _How does she always know?_

"Hi Grace" I giggle

"How are you dear? How's little Teddy? Is he excited about tomorrow?" She asks excitedly

"I don't know who's more excited you or teddy" I laugh as she does the same

"Me of course, But it's a close one between me and Elliott, We had the bouncy castle delivered today and Elliott went off in a sulk when I told him he couldn't play on it" She laughs as I imagin a very sulky Elliott being told off by his mother,

"Elliott is still a big kid at heart" I smile

"He sure is, Teddy will mature faster than Elliott" She laughs, I hear commotion in the back ground

"I am not!"

"Elliott get off the line, I'm talking to Ana" Grace scolds

"Yeah about me" He moans and I burst out laughing

"What are laughing at Ana?" I can hear him smirk

"You, You sound like Teddy when I tell him he can't have cookies before dinner" I laugh

"Well he learnt from the best then"

"Elliott get off the line"

"No I want to talk to Ana" He whines

"Elliott!" Grace warns

"Fine I'm going, Say hi to my little man for me Ana and tell him we will kick ass at his party tomorrow" Elliott says

"Elliott!"

"Yes ok mom, Bye Ana"

"Bye Elliott" I laugh, Theres a soft click and he's gone

"Sorry about him Ana" Grace sighs

"It's fine Grace honestly" I smile

"I just called to see if everything's ready for Teddy's party and to thankyou again for doing this"

"Yes everything's all set, There's no need to thank me Ana, Teddy is my grandson and I love doing things for him" Grace gushes, And I can't help the small tear that slips from my eye

"Ana honey are you ok?" She asks with concern evident in her voice

"Oh yes Grace I'm fine" I try to cover the sadness in my voice but she see's straight through me

"Ana you know you can't hide anything from me"

"I know" I sigh, She's right I can never hide anything from her, It's a blessing and a curse

"Your thinking about Christian aren't you"

"Yes" I whisper

"Have you heard anything from him?" She asks

"Nope" I make sure to pop the 'p'

"Have you?" I ask quickly

"No dear, We get a text from him every so often telling us he's fine and he's alive but apart from that nothing, We haven't seen him for months, Not since he came over for dinner and he and Elliott had a fight over Teddy" She sighs

"It's ok Grace" I mumble

"No Ana, It's not ok, Christian has never seen his son, His son has never met his father, I can't believe my son has left it so long, Teddy is a beautiful little boy, I can't understand why he doesn't want to be apart of his life" I hear tears in her voice and I try so hard to keep mine under control,

"Oh Ana I'm so sorry, I shouldn't be upsetting you like this" She sighs trying to get herself under control

"Grace, I offered Christian chance after chance to be in Teddy's life, I've sent him pictures of him and everything but he just doesn't want to know, It's his loss" I clench my jaw to keep the tears at bay

"Your so right dear anyway let's get on to a happier topic, Teddy's birthday party starts at 2pm till 5pm, If you want to bring him about 1pm we would love to see him" Grace says with a lighter tone

"Ok Grace il be over at 1pm, I know he can't wait to see you all" I smile

"Ok Ana dear, Il let you go, Get some rest, We're going to have a very excited little boy tomorrow and we're going to need all the energy we can get" She laughs

"Ok Goodnight Grace" I smile

"Goodnight Ana, Give Teddy a kiss from me and his Grampa for us"

"I will"

"Bye Ana"

"Bye Grace"

We hang up and I breathe a sigh of relief, I love Grace but I can't talk about Christian, It hurts too much, I fall in to bed and close my eyes and fall in to a restless sleep, I dream about Gray eyes and harsh words..._ Oh Christian, Why did you have to ruin everything?_


	3. Chapter 3

"Mommy, Mommy wake up" The little monster jumping on my bed shaking me wakes me from my slumber,

"Ok, Ok I'm up" I mumble pulling the covers up over my head

"No you're not Mommy, Your eyes are still closed" Teddy laughs as he pulls the covers from my body, The cold air hits me and it's an instant wake up call

"I don't suppose you'll let me go back to sleep will you?" I ask smirking at my little boy

"No Mommy, It's my birthday, Up" He orders, _Yep your defiantly your father's son_

"Ok I'm up" I smile as I sit up and slide out of bed, Teddy grabs my hand and drags me to the kitchen,

"What does the birthday boy want for breakfast?" I ask, Teddy takes some time to think but I know what it will be, pancakes and bacon

"Pancakes and bacon" He smiles at me... _See I was right_

"Coming right up" I bow playfully as he giggles

After a big breakfast of pancakes and bacon Teddy showers and gets ready to go see him Grandma and Grandpa, He's always so excited to see them, But he's even more excited to see Uncle Elliot, They're like two pea's in a pod and it always cheers me up seeing them together.

I shower and change, It's quite chilly today but thankfully the weathers clear, No sign of rain which is good, I dress in a blue check shirt, Black jeans and my converse trainers, I may be a mother now but I haven't changed who I am.

"C'mom Mommy" Teddy whines as we lock up, He runs to the car and jumps up and down impatiently, I roll my eyes and open the car, He straps himself in and then we're off, The radio comes to life and Teddy sings along, He's got such a brilliant voice for his age, His teachers at school call him a little genius and I can't help but smile.

"Faster Mommy, Uncle Elliott is waiting" He moans when we stop at a red light, My son obviously doesn't know that we can't run a red light and there are speed limits.

"Teddy, We will be there shortly" I tell him, I look in the mirror and see him sit back, Fold his arms and glare at me, Wow! Mini Christian

We pull up to Grace and Carrick's and find them waiting at the front door, Teddy's unclipped himself and opened the door before I've even opened my door

"Grandma, Grandpa!" Teddy squeals as he runs in to their waiting arms, Oh her sounds like Mia, I stifle a laugh but Grace obviously thinks the same

"You sound like Aunt Mia" Grace laughs as she tickles him, Teddy's laughter stops as he glares

"I do not" He frowns

"Ok you don't" Grace smiles as Carrick takes him in to the house

"He really does" She whispers to me, We both burst out laughing cause it's true

We all through the house to the family room following closing behind Carrick and Teddy

"Is that my little man!" I hear Elliott yell

"Uncle Elliott" Teddy screams as he jumps out from Carrick's hold, He runs in to the family room and straight in to Elliott

"Hey Dude, Happy birthday" Elliott smiles as Teddy hugs him

"Thanks Uncle Elliott, Did you get me a present? Did ya? Did ya?" Teddy asks excitedly as Elliott laughs

"I sure did dude but you'll have to wait till later for it" Elliott laughs at Teddy's sulky face, I'm sure it's the same face his Uncle was wearing yesterday when Grace told him he couldn't go on the bouncy castle.

"But Uncle Elliott" Teddy whines

"Sorry dude, Later"

"Fine" Teddy mumbles pouting his lip out

"Hey you wanna go see the garden?" Elliott asks to cheer him up

"Yeah" Teddy smiles

Once Elliott and Teddy have gone Grace takes me in to the kitchen and I help her with the party food, The kitchen is over flowing with cakes, cocktail sausages, sandwiches... Every type of party food imaginable

"Grace how many people are coming?" I ask with wide eyes

"Oh Ana, The grown ups have to eat too, Elliott eats like a horse" She smiles

"How are you dear? I'm sorry about the phone call last night I should never have brought Christian up"

"I'm ok Grace, It's always hard on his birthday or Christmas, Teddy's getting to the age where he wants to know why he doesn't have a daddy like his friends and I don't know what to tell him, What do I tell him Grace?" I sigh, She wraps her arms around me and hugs me close

"I don't know Ana, I wish I knew but I don't sweetie" She whispers

The door bell rings pulling us out of our embrace, Grace smiles and winks at me

"Time to get the party started"

By 3.30pm the party is in full swing, It's lovely to watch Teddy running around with his friends having run and enjoying himself, He has his family around him and I'm thankful to each and every one of them for sticking by me and not shunning me like Christian did, I need to stop thinking about him otherwise I'm going to burst in to tears in the middle of cutting the cake.

* * *

Christian

"Mr. Grey would it be ok for me and Gail to have the afternoon off Sir? We have a birthday party to go to, We'll be back by 6pm Sir" Taylor says as he knocks on my office door,

"Huh?" I say as I glance at the clock, It's 1.20pm

"Oh yes Taylor that's fine, Il be busy later anyway" I mumble

"Thankyou Sir" He closes the door behind him when he leaves

I sit back in my chair and rub my hands down my face, I was going to go to GEH this morning but I didn't get much sleep last night so I decided against it, Actually I don't get much sleep most nights, I either sleep in my office or I don't sleep, I spend my whole life working again, I wake up, Work, Work, Work, Come home (Sometimes), Work, Try to sleep, Play my piano, More work... That's my life. _Shit isn't it._

I don't sleep in my bedroom cause well I can't it holds to many memories, Every time I enter that room I die just a little bit more, I need to get out of the house, I have an appointment with Flynn at 2pm, I need to get ready, I shower and change in under 20 minuets, I grab my keys to my R8 and head down to the garage, Once I'm set I'm off,

The roads are clear for a saturday afternoon and I'm thankful for that, I want to have a quick appointment with Flynn and then I have to make a trip that I really don't want to make but I no I have no choice...

* * *

Flynn was unhelpful as ever, He say's I'm making progress but I don't feel like I am, I feel like I'm the same fucked up son of a bitch I've always been, I hope back in to R8 and drive the sort distance, I park up and realise there must be something going on, Something I was obviously not invited too, Who cares? Not me, This will be a quick visit, Strictly business and then Il be gone again.

I knock on the door but no one answers, _Fucking typical,_ I push the door open to see lots of balloons and lots of noise, It's so loud it hurts my ears, I grit my teeth and make my way through what used to be my home, I look out of the patio doors and see a bunch of children running about, _What's this?_

"Christian?"

I turn to see my mother standing behind me holding a plate of sandwiches, She smiles at me but it doesn't reach her eyes

"Christian go in the kitchen, Il be there in a minuet" She says quietly and then walks away, I do as she asks, I walk in to the kitchen and take a seat, I see lots of snacks and party food and decide to help myself

"Those are for the party" My mother glares as she walks behind me, Taking the plate away she sets it down on the counter

"And who's party is it?" I ask, Her head snaps back so hard I'm surprised she hasn't got whiplash

"I can't believe you just asked me that Christian" She glares at me and I frown, _What I'm just asking an innocent question_

"You really don't know what day it is today?" I shake my head

"Its Teddy's birthday, He's 4 today, You know your son" She sneers and I swallow hard

_FUCK! I forgot!_

"Christian don't tell me you forgot your own son's birthday" She asks and I shrug, I've reduced to acting like a child, It's my own fault really, I knew his birthday was in November but I couldn't remember when,

"Oh Christian, When are you going to take responsibly for your Child?, He's 4 years old today Christian and have you ever seen him?" She asks and I shake my head

"Have you ever brought him a birthday present or card?" Again I shake my head

"Christian, You need to step up to the mark and be a father to your child" She scolds me

"I don't know how" I mumble

Just then the door opens and a little boy walks in, I feel the blood drain from my face, He has copper hair, Gray eyes, And a cheeky smile... _Fuck he's me!_

"Grandma, Uncle Elliott wanted me to ask you if we can open my presents yet?" The little boy asks my mom and she picks him up and puts him on her knee,

"Teddy I want you to meet someone, Christian this is Teddy, Teddy this is Christian" Mom says as she motions between us, Teddy holds his hand out for me to shake, I feel frozen, I can't move, I can't breathe... No I shouldn't be here, I should go.

I stand up and almost run from the room, I hear my mother yell for me to come back but I can't my feet keep moving and I feel trapped, I look behind me and I smash in to something, I look down and see a mush of brown hair, Long legs and Blue Eyes...

"Ana"


	4. Chapter 4

AN: A big hello to all my lovely readers and reviewers, I can't believe how popular this story is, I've received the most amazing reviews ever and I am so pleased that so many people are enjoying my little creation... I received a review last night saying that I had wrote Teddy's name as Grey, That was a mistake on my part, He is a Steele, Not a Grey, Christian's name is not on the birth certificate because Ana didn't want to put Teddy through all the crap that went with Christian Grey, Know one apart from close family and friends know that Teddy is Christian's son. I have changed the mistake to now read Theodore Raymond Steele... Thankyou to everyone for your amazing support... Hope you all enjoy this chapter and yes I agree with you all Christian is an ass... Please don't worry Ana is not going to fall for his lovey dovey shit and take him back, Let's face it, He was a total ass to her at the beginning of the pregnancy and then hasn't seen his son for 4 years... He's a douche bag in my book. :)

* * *

Ana 

Where's my son gone? One minuet he was here and the next he's gone, I decide to go see if I can find the birthday boy, I walk through the house, I see Jack and Abby, Teddy's friends from school, They're cute kids, Very kind and loving, Teddy's blessed with a brilliant group of friends, I hope his friendships are strong and they last the test of time, Like me and Kate.

I walk past the rows of children giggling about how big the cake is, Mia did us proud with her masterpiece, It's a beautiful blue cake in the shape of a plane, It's amazing how Mia's crafted it, She's even wrote _'Teddy'_ on the side of the plane, It really is spectacular.

I continue to walk through the house towards the kitchen, My cell buzzes in my jeans pocket, I fish it out and see a text from Ray

_'Tell Teddy happy birthday from Papa Ray x' _

I smile at the text, Teddy sure is a very lucky boy to have so many people around him who love him more than words.

I'm too busy testing Ray back that I don't realise someone's rushing towards me till I'm flat on my ass on the floor

"Ana"

I look up to see the face I've only ever seen when I close my eyes,

"Christian"

I close my eyes and will this to be a dream, I will myself to wake up, To come to my senses and for me to find myself in my bed when I re open them but when I do I'm hit with the painful reality, Christian Grey is standing in front of me.

He extends his hand to help me up but I bat it away,_ I don't need your help! _

"What are you doing here Christian?" I ask in a cold voice, Christian bows his head and his eyes focus on the floor, Wow! This is new since when did Christian Grey act like a submissive?

"I came to see my dad" He mumbles still looking at the floor, I take the time to run my eyes over him, His copper hair is still soft looking and shiny but slightly longer than before, He's dressed in a white t, Black jeans n converse with a black leather jacket on top, He almost looks like a normal person, Well he would do If it wasn't for the expensive Rolex watch attached to his wrist, Or the flashy shades hanging from the v on his t-shirt,

"Mommy!"

Teddy comes running in to me grabbing hold of my legs and cuddling them tight, I run my hand through his unruly copper hair as he turns his head up and smiles

"Mommy can I open my presents now please?" He begs jumping up and down, Even with the tension between Christian and I Teddy always manages to bring a smile to my face

"Sure baby boy, If its ok with Grandma and Grandpa" I smile, Teddy turns to look for Grace and Carrick, He runs to Grace and asks, She smiles and nods her head, Teddy runs back to me jumping on the spot, He's so excited its unreal.

"C'mon then Teddy, Let's go see what you got" I smile and take his hand, We begin to walk away but Teddy stops and let's go of my hand, I turn to see him run back to where Christian is standing.

* * *

Christian

"Hey Mr?" A sweet little voice enters my ears and I look down to see Teddy, His hand is pulling at my jeans and his big Gray eyes focus on mine, I can't seem to find my voice so I nod

"Did you bring me a present?" His eyes are full of hope and child like joy and I no I have to disappoint him

"No, Sorry I didn't" My throat feels dry and I find it hard to swallow, His eyes lose there shine and gleam, He looks down for a second but slowly recovers, He shrugs his shoulders

"It's ok Mr, You didn't know it was my birthday so I forgive you" He smiles and I feel like a shit, I haven't been in his life at all, He's grown up without a father and he's forgiving _me_?

"Hey can I whisper in your ear?" He asks quietly and I nod, I crouch down to his level and tilt my head down, Teddy's little hands wrap around my collar and he tugs me so my ear is near his mouth, I can smell sweets, Chocolate and cake on his breath

"You look like me" He whispers then suddenly he's gone, All I see is a flash of copper hair and a childish giggle, He said we look a like, Does he know? That im his... _Father?_

"Christian, My office... Now" Dads voice booms from down the hall, I stand up and make my way there, Head down, Eyes on the floor.

Entering my dad's office I see him in his usual place, Behind his desk, Fingers steepled, Eyes blazing, I feel like im 15 again being punished for fighting at school

"Take a seat Christian" I sit in my usual seat across from my dad and wait for the rush or angry words to come out of his mouth

"What are you doing here Christian?" He starts in a soft voice, My head shoots up in surprise at the fact that he's not shouting at me at the top of his lungs

"I came to give you the money" I mumble

"And you couldn't wire it to me like you usually do?" He grits out, Now he's getting angry

"I wanted to come see my family" I sigh, I felt guilty for not seeing my mother in months but I couldn't let her see me at my worst

"And what about your son? Does he feature in your family? Or Ana?" We go through the same conversation whenever our paths cross, He asks me when I'm going to step up to the plate, And I tell him the same thing

"I don't know dad" I sigh, I've spent so long trying to sort my shit out like Ana told me to do that I focused too much time on me and forgot the rest of the world.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Dad yells standing up to pace, I sink further in to the seat wishing I could disappear but I can't, I know I can't everyone's right I need to step and be there for my son I just don't know how.

"You need to grow up Christian, You're a grown man with a 4-year-old son who you don't support"

"I do support him, I pay for him every month, Or have you forgotten the large wads of cash directed into your account each month" I grit out, I do pay for my son, I send my mom and dad money every month for them to spend on Teddy,

"But Ana doesn't know that Christian, She doesn't know the money we spend on Teddy comes from you does she?"

"Because she's to proud to accept anything from me"

"Do you blame her? That girl put up with shit from you when she fell pregnant with Teddy, She went through her entire pregnancy with me and your mother by her side, She gave birth to our grandson, _Your_ son with your mom with her, That little boy has grown up with me and his Uncle Elliott as his role models, Where the hell were you?"

"I was working, So I could provide for him" I yell

"Work? Family is more important than work Christian"

This is what our meetings consist of, Shouting and angry words, I try to defend myself but its useless cause I can't, I have no right to, I fucked up, I wanted to see Teddy when he was born but I was scared about how Ana would react, I treated her like shit when she told me she was pregnant, She deserved the world and I gave her nothing but crap.

"I know it's more important but what can I do about it now?" I sigh, Dad looks completely exhausted with me and I don't blame him, I don't blame anyone but me

"Be there for your son"

"I am there" I grit out

"No Christian you're not, You sign a couple of cheques each month, Yes you look after him financially in a sence but not emotionally he doesn't know who you are" Dad sighs as he sits back down

"Look, I have a party to get back too, Teddy's probably half through his presents by now and I want to be there to see him to open the rest of them, Write me the cheque and il deposit it on monday" He sighs again as I reach for my cheque book, I send my dad $20,000 a month for Teddy's up keep, I send it to my dad cause he can then buy Teddy the things he needs and tell Ana its a gift from his grandparents and not from the dick head father who doesn't give a shit.

I hand over the cheque and my dad places it in his wallet, He stands and that's my signal to go, We leave his study and dad gives me a small sad smile and walks towards the living room, I turn to the door but stop when I hear a happy squeal, Walking back towards the living room I peak my head round the corner and see lots of children all gathered round as Teddy opens his presents, All my family are there, Mom, Dad, Elliott, Mia, Even Kate's there,

"Thankyou Uncle Jason, Aunt Gail, This is brilliant" Teddy yells as he hugs to figures near the back of the room, It's only then I catch sight of Gail and Taylor hugging my son, So they were invited to my son's birthday party but not me? I feel a stab in my chest, Everyone who cares and loves Teddy in this room has the joy of watching him happy, Excited and joyful, While I stand on the side lines, I see Elliott get up and hand Teddy a large box, I stand and watch as Teddy tears at the blue shiny paper and pulls the top from the box, I can't see what's inside but what ever it is has made Teddy's face light up, Elliott laughs and then pulls the items out of the box, It's an electric guitar... He's brought my 4-year-old son and Electric guitar?

"Uncle Elliott you're the best, I love you" Teddy screams as he jumps on Elliott and hugs him tight, Elliott is laughing and rubbing his hair, I feel a lump in my throat, Tears well in my eyes

"I love you to dude" Elliott says as he looks Teddy in the eyes, The tears over flow and I back away, I feel like im intruding on something I shouldn't, Something I am not privileged enough to be part of.

I back away and run for the door, I shouldn't be here, I should never have come, I open the door and make my way to my car, I start the engine and glance back at the house, I see Ana standing in the door way with a face like thunder, She shakes her head at me and then closes the door never taking her eyes off me.

I can't blame her, I blame me, I shouldn't have left it so long, Maybe there is no way back now, It's just too little too late.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Last chapter of the day guys, Will be updating again tomorrow, I had a review from someone saying they loved the story but they couldn't carry on reading if Ana and Christian never get back together, They will get back together but it isn't going to be any time soon, Christian will have to do a hell of a lot of grovling and he has 4 years of making up to do with both Ana and Teddy, Christian will be a dick from time to time and Ana will always put Teddy first, It will never be an easy ride with Mr. Grey but he has a lot of work to do... Enjoy the last update of the day and I love reading all your amazing reviews... You make my day :) See you all tomorrow x

* * *

Ana

The parties over, The cakes been demolished and the children have all gone home happy with goody bags full of treats and sweets.

Teddy's fast asleep on the sofa cuddled up between Grace and Elliott, He's had such a brilliant day with his friends and family, I'm just happy that Christian didn't ruin it for him, I don't know why he was here and to be honest I don't want to know, He said he was here to see Carrick and that's all I need to know.

What Christian does is non of my business, My business concerns Teddy and that's it.

Luckily Teddy hasn't mentioned anything regarding Christian and I haven't asked, I know il have to talk to Teddy one day about his father but fingers crossed that day won't come for a while yet, I need some time to mentally prepare for that conversation.

"Hey Ana, You want me to help you put this lil man in the car?" Elliott whispers as he motions in Teddy's direction, I nod my head. Elliott picks Teddy up gently and makes the rounds so everyone can give kisses and goodbye's, Elliott takes Teddy to my car and straps him in, Carrick and Grace load my boot with presents, I say goodbye's and I'm on my way home with my sleeping angel in the back seat.

The roads are clear and the sky is dark, I've never like driving in the dark but sometimes you have to, Once we're home I unclip Teddy and take him inside, I undress him down to his pants and tuck him in to bed, I kiss my tuckered out Teddy and leave him to his sweet dreams.

Deciding to bring Teddy's presents and gifts in from the car before it gets to late I head out to my car.

I can't believe the amount of presents he's got, Grace and Carrick brought him a Jungle gym that stayed at Bellevue so Teddy has something to play on when he visits his Grandma and Grandpa, Mia brought him a childs racing car, That's also still over Carrick and Grace's, Elliott brought him a guitar, Elliott's been teaching Teddy to play the guitar for almost a year and he's very good, Teddy's been learning on Elliott's but he wanted his own so Elliott brought him an old Les Paul and has it personalised to read _'To my lil dude, You rock Teddy Bear, LV Uncle Elliott' _Teddy was over the moon when he opened that present, Elliott had taken him by the music shop a few weeks ago to see if his guitar was still there and It wasn't, My little boy was heart-broken, It took everything in me not to tell him that the reason it wasn't in the shop anymore was because it was wrapped up at Uncle Elliott and Aunt Kate's house, I begged Elliott to let me tell him but Elliott told me he didn't want the surprise being ruined so I had to keep my mouth shut, Teddy's little face was well worth it tho.

He also received lots of cars, Trains, Trucks ect, He's a typical boy he loves all that sort of stuff, He also received a new football goal, Boots, Gloves ect, Yes my lil man loves his footie... He's got so much stuff that I couldn't carry more than a couple of bags in each hand at each time for fear of them ripping or me dropping something and It breaking.

After 3 trips and 10 bags and I'm finally done, All I wanna do is have a cup of tea, a bath and go to bed,

"Hello Anastasia" Looks like they'll have to wait

"What do you want Christian? And what are you doing in my house?" I glare, How the hell did he get in here? Shit! I left the door open when I was bringing Teddy's presents in, That must be how he go in I left the fucking door open. _Idiot!_

"I needed to talk to you and seeing as I got the feeling that you wouldn't answer my emails or invite me round, I decided to take matters in to my own hands" He answers calmly, I roll my eyes and hear his sharp in take of breath

"I could still take you over my knee Anastasia" He smirks

"I wouldn't if I were you, Unless you'd like your wrist snapped" I'm not in the mood for his games

"On that smart mouth of yours" He smirks

"What do you want Christian?" I want this conversation over with so he can leave

"I...I..." Huh he's nervous, So he should be

"Spit it out Christian, What do you want?"

"I wanted to give Teddy his birthday present" He mumbles and I raise an eyebrow

"You brought him a present?" Well this is new, Teddy's never received a birthday or Christmas present from Christian,

"Yeah, I didn't know what he would like so I got him some cars and some trains" He smiles shyly holding up the big wrapped box, His smile drops when he sees my face,

"What do you want Christian? A medal for buying your son a present on his birthday?" He doesn't answer he just lowers his head and eyes to the present in his lap

"Why now" I ask

"What do you mean?" His head lifts and his brows furrow in confusion

"Why now, Why are you suddenly bothered whether or not Teddy receives a present from you?"

"I...I wanted to give him a present" He whispers

"Why not 4 years ago? Why not his first Christmas or birthday, Or any other birthday Or christmas, Why? Why are you suddenly so desperate for him to have a present?" I started raising my voice but I quickly remember Teddy sleeping upstairs so I bring it back to normal volume

"I want to see my son" He whispers so quietly I almost missed it, My head fills with horrible words and teeth clinch

"You what?" I spit

"I want to see my son Ana, You can't keep him from me"

I see red, I cross the room and slap him across the face, Hard.

Christian's head swings round and his hand goes directly to his now very sore cheek, My hand throbs but I'm too worked up to focus on the pain

"You've got some nerve to come in to my home and demand to see _MY_ son" My voice is harsh but quiet, I would love to scream and shout at him but I don't want Teddy involved in this shit

"He's my Son too Ana" Christian's anger seems to come back to him as he flares at me, A giggle bubbles in my throat, I try to suppress it but it fights its way out and soon I'm in the middle of a full-blown laughter fit, Christians anger deflated and he smirks at me

"I sorry Christian but that's the funniest shit you've ever come out with" I manage to say as my laughter subsides, Again he looks at me wanting me to explain

"He's your son too?" I ask as Christian nods with that smirk trying to resurface again

"Well its a shame its taken you 4 years to realise that, Well done, Now get out" Christians face plummets and he clenched his jaw, Running his fingers through his hair he stands up and walks to the front door

"This isn't over Ana, Il be in touch" He spits out

"I look forward to it" I smirk as he closes the door behind him

If he wants a fight Il sure as hell give him one... Game on Grey.


	6. Chapter 6

Christian

The phone calls have been made, Paperwork signed and sent, Now all I have to do is wait... And I don't do waiting but this isn't really up to me, It was Anastasia that decided she wanted to play with they adults so lets play...She wants a fight il give her one, Never underestimate Christian Grey!

* * *

Ana

It's been 2 weeks since Teddy's birthday, 2 weeks and there's been no sign of Christian, _Thank God, _Today is a saturday, Not only is it a weekend for Teddy meaning no school but it also means no work for me either, I still work for SIP but when I told my boss I was pregnant they opened up a new position for me saying they didn't want to lose me, I am emailed Transcripts, I read and edit them then send them back with detailed notes on the ones that are good and the ones that aren't, I really like this job because it means I can work from home, I loved having the time with Teddy when he was a baby, I would do work through naps and playtime, Teddy was always a very quiet and sweet baby, No crying fits or tantrums for him which surprised me with who his father is but I had nothing like that, Kate wants her and Elliott's baby to have Teddy's temperament, Elliott prays that the baby is more like him and not Kate cause lets face it one Kate Grey is enough, Yes you read right Kate and Elliott married last year, Teddy was Elliott's best man, There wedding was simple and elegant, So not Kate's style but she looked beautiful non the less, I was worried about running in to Christian but Elliott told me that Christian refused the invite, Elliott wasn't too happy but Kate was thrilled, She's always hated Christian but now it's with a blood curdling passion and to be honest I don't blame her, If Elliott had done the same to Kate as what Christian's done to me I would follow through on Kate's promise to Christian that she would cut his balls off and wear them as ear rings... Now that would be funny to see.

Kate fell pregnant a few months after the wedding and Elliott was thrilled, I felt a pang of jealousy when they told everyone, We were all sat around in Carrick and Grace's living room, Teddy was running around like a chicken with its head cut off...

* * *

Flashback... Elliott and Kate's announcement

"Ana what has he been on today? He's more hyper than ever" Grace laughs as we watch Teddy run around with his arms stretched out, He's pretending to be a plane, All we can hear is 'Neeeewwww'

"I don't know but what ever it is I want some" I laugh back, Watching Teddy happy and in his element brings such joy to my heart, It's the best feeling in the world when your child is happy, I can't believe he's 3 already, _Where's the time gone?_

I look over to where Kate and Elliott are engrossed in watching Teddy, They're such a happy loving couple, I wish my life could have turnt out like there's but everything happens for a reason. _Right?_

"Teddy settle down dude, Go sit near your mom me and Aunty Kate have got something to tell you" Elliott smiles as Teddy stops and does what he's asked, _Wow!_ Teddy hardly ever listens to anyone when he's in these moods, He has a very special bond with his Uncle Elliott so that's why he does

"What Uncle Elliott? What is it?" Teddy asks excitedly as he sits next to me, All our ears pick up as Kate and Elliott stand

"Well dude, We want to tell you, Well everyone but especially you" He winks at Teddy and he giggles "Me and Aunty Kate are going to have a baby, Your going to have a little cousin buddy" Elliott smiles as Teddy leaps off the sofa to hug them, That's my little boy so full of love, The family all do the same, Kate and Elliott make their rounds of receiving kisses hugs and congratulations, I pull Kate in to a hug and hold her tightly

"Congratulations Kate, A husband and a baby on the way... I never thought I'd see the day" I laugh, Kate pulls away and looks at me sympathetically

"Are you ok? We were worried about telling you cause, Well you know" _Am I ok?_ Yes, My friend is going to have a little baby, My son is going to have a little cuddle to play with and even though I'm not technically family, Kate won't let me forgot that I will be an Aunty to her and Elliott's child.

"Yes I'm fine, I'm so happy for you guys" I smile as Elliott wraps his arms around me and hugs me tight,

"You ok Ana?" He mumbles as I sigh,

"Yes Elliott I'm fine, I just told Kate that I'm so happy for you guys" Elliott gives me a look that says 'Are you telling me the truth or are you bull shitting me?' I roll my eyes,

"Look just because your brother treated me like shit doesn't mean I'm going to hold it for the rest of my life, It's to short, What's the point? Christian made his choice to walk away from Teddy and it's his loss" I smile as Elliott nods,

"I've just text him and told him that he's going to be an Uncle" He mumbles, Kate's eyes blaze and I know she is remembering her promise to me not long after I gave birth to Teddy. _'I will make him regret the day he walked away from you and this little miracle Steele, I promise you'_

_"_And pray tell, What did the biggest asshole in America have to say to our happy news?" Kate says sarcastically as Elliott rolls his eyes, His cell buzzes and I know he's got a reply, Elliott keeps a straight face when he reads it and then sighs when Kate reaches out for the phone, Her face isn't so forgiving

"You wanna see Steele?" She asks and I think about it, Do I really want to see him congratulate them and be happy that he's going to be an Uncle to this child when he really couldn't be bothered to be there for his own?

"Believe me he's not thrilled" Elliott mumbles as Kate passes me the phone

_* Well I suppose Congratulations are in order so there they are*_

Really? _That's it?_ Jesus he could at least try to sound please, His brother is going to have a baby, He's going to have a nephew and that's all he can be bothered to say?

"Sorry guys" I apologise for him though I have no idea why

"Not your fault Ana, He's always been a dick, Why would we expect him to change now?" Elliott half smiles and walks away to see his mom and dad, Shit! Christian just enjoys hurting everyone doesn't he, Though it would have hurt like hell for him to reply with some excited sit I would have rathered it to Elliott being like this..._Fucking Christian just ruins everything!_

* * *

I shake my head to rid thoughts of him, It's been 2 weeks and I've not seen nor heard from him, Maybe when his little stunt on Teddy's birthday back fired and I didn't bow down at his feet he realised that it's not worth it and has given up... Yeah that doesn't sound like Christian Grey, Not least the one I know.

"Hi Mommy"

"Morning baby boy, You sure slept late it's almost 11 am" I giggle, Teddy never sleeps late, He's to active, Which is brilliant for him but not so much foe me, I am not a morning person but waking up at 3 am with a baby made me realise I had to adapt, So eventually I got used to sleeping less and less and my body adjusted, Now I wake up at 6am every morning and It doesn't bother me... _Well not much._

"I was tired, I didn't sleep well, I had a bad dream" He mumbles rubbing his eyes, _Another one?_ He's been having them since his birthday, Each morning he wakes up more tired than the day before complaining about his bad dreams but he never tells me what they're about... When ever I mention them he calms up and doesn't speak till I change the subject, Grace wants me to get in contact with some child therapists, I want to say he'll be fine but if they carry on I might just have to think about booking him in to see someone

"What do you want to each baby?" I ask changing the subject before he can clam up,

"White egg omelette and juice please mommy" He yawns... Strange he's changed his breakfast, He never has anything apart from pancakes and bacon but if that's what my little man wants that's what he'll get.

During breakfast the post comes, The only letter I have is one marked _Miss Anastasia Steele_. **URGENT!,** I decide to wait till Teddy's finished and runs off to play to open it.

_Miss Anastasia Steele,_

_A court order has been set in motion against you from my client **Mr Christian Grey**, Mr Grey has filed for full custody for his son **Master Theodore Raymond Steele**, Born: 8/11/2011._

_Mr. Grey has made it known that he wishes for the child in question to be solely cared for by himself, A custody hearing has been set up for **10/02/2016** and you **must **attend on this date._

_Any contact between yourself and Mr. Grey must be made through his lawyer and yours._

_Yours.._

_Matthew I. Cooper, Attorney at Law_

_Bellevue Child Custody Attorney,_

_Seattle._

* * *

The second page of the letter says:

When you have a child with someone, the law connects you to that person until your child becomes an adult. When you get divorced or split up, there are important issues to decide regarding who cares for the child and when. In Washington, family courts make these decisions based on what is in the best interests of the child. At my firm, I help clients work toward an arrangement that best suits their needs. Contact Matthew I. Cooper via email or call my Bellevue office at 425-467-1999 to schedule a free, 30-minute consultation.

Making Important Decisions

Your parenting plan will help define your rights and responsibilities as a parent. Where will your child go to school or church? Will your child get braces or contact lenses? Who gets to make decisions about after school activities? Where will your child be on birthdays and holidays? A parenting plan will affect you and your child for as long as it is in place. I can help you craft a parenting plan that reflects your wishes. The importance of the decisions you make now cannot be underestimated.

In some locations, such as King County, parents must attempt to resolve these issues in mediation before they may be tried. I can help you prepare for your settlement conference to ensure that your wishes are reflected in any proposed agreement. If mediation does not result in an acceptable agreement, I am a skilled litigator who can fight for you in family court.

Related Issues

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* * *

I can't believe what I am reading, I had a feeling Christian would bring his Lawyers in to this for some form of access but full custody? _He's got to be fucking kidding me..._ I need this sorting and I need it done now!

Picking up my cell I dial the number, They answer on the 3rd ring

"Hellooo" The voice sings in to the phone

"Mia, It's Ana listen are you busy today?" I ask trying to calm my breathing

"No i'm not busy, What's up" She asks sounding happy and cheery, The complete opposite of what I'm currently feeling

"Could you have Teddy for the day please? I know it's really sort notice but I've got some shit I need to take care off and I'd rather Teddy wasn't there to witness it" I fume

"Sure Ana I can have Teddy, Bring him over, Is everything ok?"

"Not really Mia but il explain when I see you, Thanks Mia you're a life saver" I hang up and get Teddy ready, _Christian Grey wants a war Il fucking give him one._

* * *

The ride to Bellevue was stressful to say the least, Teddy decided that he didn't want to spend the day with Mia, He wanted his Uncle Elliott, I told him Uncle Elliott was busy and he wet in a sulk with me, Luckily Grace saved the day with a promise of making cookies and cakes with her and Aunt Mia so he was happy after that.

Sitting in the office with Carrick he looks over the letter I received from Christian's lawyers this morning, His face is hard and unforgiving, His eyes skim over the page and his jaw sets in a hard-line

"Well Christian sure does have a way of doing things doesn't he?" Carrick sighs as he rubs his hands down his face, I feel like I've placed him in a tough position, Christian is his son, Know matter what he's done to me and Teddy nothing will ever change that but Teddy's his grandson.

"What can we do Carrick?" I ask feeling like I'm at the end of my tether, Yes Christian hasn't been there for Teddy but surly there going to take Christians money in to consideration when the hearing comes, How the hell am I going to fight against that?

"I could try talking to him Ana, Get him to back down on full custody but you know Christian, Once his minds made up he's set on getting it" He mumbles and I feel my heart sink

"Ok Carrick, Do your best" I stand and give him a hug, I walk out of the house to my car, I need to think of something, Christian is not going to take my son away from me.

* * *

Christian

Sitting in my office at Escala, I've just received a phone call from my lawyers telling me that the custody papers were delivered to Anastasia this morning, So now it's all a matter of time, I don't really want full custody of Teddy, I would never do that to Ana but she needs to know that I'm serious about getting some sort of access to my son, I know I've been a shitty father but I've dealt with my own personal shit, That's no excuse I know but she needs to know that once Teddy came in to this world there was never a day where I haven't thought about him, I've been involved in most aspects of Ana's life since she told me she was pregnant, I brought SIP and put the new position in for her to work from home so she wouldn't have to give up her job, The money I give my mother and father each month pays Ana's rent, Gas, Electric, It pays for new clothes for Teddy, Toys everything, The rest goes in to a savings account for when Teddy's 18, I have one set up in his name for when he's 21, I may not have actively been in his life but I've always been on the outskirts, I've always been there watching, Waiting till I had managed to get my shit together.

I abandon work for a glass of wine, It's only 2 in the afternoon but thinking about Ana and Teddy always makes me need a drink, Gail has the weekend off so does Taylor, I decided not to mention that I saw them at Teddy's birthday party and just carry on as normal, I don't know where they are and I don't really care, I won't be going anywhere this weekend so I just want to be left alone.

The elevator pings pulling me from my thoughts, _Who the fuck is this?_

"CHRISTIAN!"

A small smile forms on my lips, I knew it wouldn't take her long, Ana storms in to the kitchen, All red-faced and angry

"What the hell is this?" She fumes shaking what I'm guessing are the custody papers

"Well I won't know till you stop shaking them and show me" I smirk as she glares

"Don't get fucking smart with me Christian, It doesn't suit you" Ana slams them on the kitchen island and I move to look at them, _Yep! there the papers_

"The look like custody papers" I mutter, I see Ana's fists all and her lips set in to a hard-line, _She's pissed_

"Why?"

"Why what?" I frown

"Why did you file these?" She shouts pointing to the letters

"I want to see my son"

"Oh you mean the son you wanted me to abort? The son you wanted nothing to do with? For someone with abandonment issues Christian you did a really good job at hiding them when it came to abandoning me and Teddy" The harsh words flow from her smart little mouth and I feel like she's spitting bullets, They hit me in the chest and I recoil from them. _She's right Grey you did abandon them_

"I want to see my son Ana, I have a right to see him, I'm his father" I mumble feeling ashamed of myself

"Yes your right he is your son but you gave up you rights when you left us, You want to see him Christian you have to prove to me that you give a fuck about him, You have to prove to me that you want to be the father he's missed out on for the last 4 years" Ana's anger deflates and I can't tell what she's thinking, We stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, Then I have an idea, I'm hoping it doesn't back fire on me and she slaps me again

"Ana, Do you trust me?" I ask but the look on her face tells me I've just asked the dumbest question ever

"Can a blind man see?" She smirks... _Ok I've got the answer_

"You don't trust me?" I mumble as she shakes her head,

"Ok go look in my bedroom" I hang my head as she frowns and walks away, I hope this goes a little way to showing her that I've always been there.

* * *

Ana

I pause when I reach Christian's room, What ever's in here won't sway me, I will fight him from taking my child away from me, I open the door and flick the light switch I gasp and all the air leaves my lungs.

_What the fuck?_

Pictures... Of Teddy line the walls, Through out the years I sent Christian pictures of Teddy, Pictures of him as a baby, I sent him a couple of pictures every month, I wanted him to see Teddy's progress, Even if he threw them away, Shredded them ect at least they were his choice to do with as he wishes, I never in my wildest dreams thought he would do this.

"Can I come in?"

I turn to see Christian on the thresh hold of his own bedroom and he's asking me if he can come in, I nod, He walks in, Running his fingers over the pictures he sits on the bed

"What is all this Christian?" I ask feeling like I'm in a dream

"This is a version of my own memories" He whispers as tears fill his eyes and he turns away, I feel a little sceptical, Once upon a time I would have crumbled and consoled him in my arms to take his pain away but I'm not the same Ana anymore, I'm not the sap that first rolled over at the good looks and charm of Christian Grey.

"I've always been there Ana, I've always cared" He whispers as I scoff, _Yeah right!_

"You haven't always cared Christian" I smirk even though he can't see me, He can hear it in my voice, He turns on the bed and looks straight in to my eyes, His usually bright Gray orbs and dull, lifeless, His face looks remorseful and miserable but this is Christian, He's manipulates people, That's his job, It's how he gets what he wants and he's brilliant at what he does.

"I know I haven't, I treated you badly Ana I know that but I've never been that far away" I look at him confused he's speaking in riddles like he used to do when he didn't want to tell me something, When he dances around the actual issue and feeds me scrapings off the sides

"What do you mean you've always been there christian? Please for once in your life tell me the truth and not a bunch of bullshit"

"I've always been there Ana, I've always been there for Teddy" I cut him off with his rambling

"For Gods sake Christian, For once in your life can you actually fucking tell me and not dance around it! Please explain to me HOW you have_ always_ been there for Teddy" I yell I'm getting frustrated again, Christian's tears dry up and his dull gray orbs turn to flames, He grits his teeth and walks in front of me so we're standing nose to nose

"You want me to tell you the truth, I'm the reason you never had to quit from SIP, Roach didn't want someone on the pay roll who had only just started the job to be going on maternity leave in a few months, When I brought SIP I told him to give you the choice of quitting or working from home so you could keep your job and also be a mother to Teddy, I give my parents $20,000 a month for you and Teddy, Ever notice why you don't get bills for things like Gas and Water? That's because I pay for them so you don't have to, What ever is left at the end of the month goes in to a savings account for Teddy... See Ana, You and the rest of my family may think I don't give a shit about that little boy but I do, I made the biggest mistake of my life when I told you to choose between me and Teddy and I have had to live with that every day for the last 4 years" Christian's voice went from harsh and deadly to soft and sad through his little confession, I can only stare blankly at him, I'm trying to process this, All of this, How did I not know that Christian was paying for everything? How did I not know that he has been involved in his son's life without me knowing?

"Ana?" He whispers, I must look a I'm catching flies, My brains gone blank and I can't think of anything to say, I came round here with thoughts of a screaming match and for us to bring war upon everyone but now I don't know what to think, _I don't know anything anymore_

"Ana? Say something please" Christian steps closer to me but I step back, I can't have him to close, The closer he gets the more suffocated I feel, I can't deal with everything that's going on, My cell rings in my pocket pulling me out of my thoughts the I.D reads Grace

"Hi Grace" I try to sound up beat and happy but there's no point, Grace will see straight through me

"Ana, Where are you?" Grace sounds like she's running

"I... I'm... I'm with Christian" I sigh as I hear her breath catch, She covers it up with a slight cough

"Ana, Teddy's had an accident, We're taking him to the hospital now, I will meet you there" She says quickly

"The hospital? Grace what do you mean teddy's been taken to the hospital?... GRACE!" I yell, There's no answer she's hung up, I rush out of Christian's bedroom with his running behind me

"Ana? What's going on?" He grabs my arm and spins me around

"Christian I don't have time for this, Teddy has been taken to the hospital I need to meet your mom there" I say as tears fill my eyes, Christian pulls me in to his arms and holds me tight, I cry in to his shirt as he strocks my hair and whispers relaxing words in my ear, _What are you doing? You need to get out of his arms and to the hospital to your son, _I push Christian back and run to the elevator... I push the button for the garage and wait for the Christian to join me but he doesn't, I look up to see him standing in the same place as where he was when I left him after the playroom, I take a deep breathe, _I can't believe I'm going to do this._

The doors start to close and I place my foot in between the doors

"Hey" I call as Christian's head lifts up

"You coming or not?" I raise my eyebrow daring him to say no, His mouth pops open in shock and he looks like a fish out of water for a few seconds but quickly recovers, He nods his head, Grabs his jacket and rushes in to the elevator alongside me, The ride down seems to take for ever but once the doors open we both rush to Christian's car, It's faster than mine and I don't think I can drive with shaky hands.

"Don't worry I'm sure he'll be fine" Christian smiles slightly as the engine raws to life and we pull out of the garage,_ Oh please God let him be ok please..._


	7. Chapter 7

Ana

The ride to the hospital was frightening and stressful, All I can think about is my baby,, My little boy, I live and breathe for that child and I don't know what I would do if anything serious was wrong with him... _Oh God please let him be ok._

Christian parked the car and turn's in his seat, I can't move, I can't think, I'm having second thoughts about having him here with me, Obviously the family is going to be here and I don't know how they will cope seeing Christian here at such a family time, Teddy is my family... The Grey's are Teddy's family and Christian is their family but I can't help the twinge of guilt that fills me when I think about the scene that's going to face us once we are in that waiting room, Oh please let them manage to be grown up for Teddy's sake.

"Hey" Christian whispers as he reaches for my hand, I jolt back from his touch, I don't want it and I don't need it, I watch as Christian's face drops and he pulls his hand back, I exit the car and run in to the hospital, I need my baby the only person I want close to me is my baby, My little Teddy

"Grace" I call as I see her, She jogs towards me and I throw my arms around her, I hold this woman for dear life, I need her to tell me that my baby is going to be fine, That he's just got a bug or a nasty cut or something, Teddy is accident prone just like me so I'm preying that all my worring and heartache is something I can laugh about in a couple of weeks time.

"Ana honey why don't we go in to the relatives room" She whispers and I feel a freezing cold vice like grip on my heart, Why? Why would she want to take me to the relatives room unless? No no no I can't think like that Teddy's fine, He's fine right?

We walk to the relatives room and Grace freezes with her hand on the door handle, She seems to be staring at something behind her, I turn to see Christian standing a few feet behind us, Head bowed staring at his shoes like they are the best thing in the world, I want to roll my eyes but I refrain I need to find out about Teddy

"Christian?" Grace's voice is almost a whisper but he hears it, His head shoots up and he gives a simple nod, I guess indicating that he's fine and that he's coming in with us, Whether he does or doesn't I really don't care at this point

The door opens and I'm greeted with a sea of anxious and worried eyes, I see Kate and Elliott consoling each other, Well mainly Kate consoling Elliott, I know Elliott and Teddy have a special bond but jesus anyone would think it was his son, We close the door behind us once Christian's decided to move his ass in to the room and not in the corridor of course, Elliott glances at us and I see tears form in his eyes but they soon grown cold and angry when Christian comes in to view, I know one of them will make some angry comment so I keep my mouth shut and wait for it to be over

"Ana?... What the hell is he doing here?" Ahhh Thankyou Kate Grey

"Kate please, Grace tell me what's wrong with my baby" I beg, I am stubborn and hard-headed but when it comes to Teddy I will beg for everything I am worth

"Ana, I need to ask you some questions ok, So I need you to calm down and answer them as best you can ok" Grace says as she lowers me in to the uncomfortable hospital chairs, I try to do as she asks but all I can feel is panic raise through me, I nod as I wipe the falling tears from my cheeks

"How was Teddy when he woke up this morning?" Mom asks gently asks as I frown, Why does she want to know this? What does that have to do with Teddy being admitted to the hospital?

"He...Um... He slept in this morning, He was very tired he said that he had nightmares last night" I try my best to think back to how Teddy was this morning, Was anything out of the ordinary? I don't think so I mean he said he was tired but he told me he had a nightmare last night, I don't know if he was telling the truth or whether or not he was lying to me and trying to cover up the fact that he was feeling poorly

"Ok Ana, Did you notice anything different about him this morning, Anything out of the ordinary?" Grace asks as if she's reading my thoughts, I bite my lip as I try to think back to everything that's happened in the last couple of days, I try to remember Teddy's movement's whether or not his appetites been the same... My mind keeps drawing a blank

"He, He didn't want to spend the day with Mia cause he wanted to be with Elliott, He put up a bit of a fight but then just calmed when you asked him if he wanted to bake cookies... Grace what does this have to do with Teddy being ill? Please tell me" I look towards Grace with pleading eyes, Mother to mother she needs to tell me what wrong with him

"Ana, Not long after you left Teddy complained that he was feeling sleepy so I sent him up to take a little nap, A couple of hours later I went to check on him and he wouldn't wake, He had a terrible fever but his hands and feet were freezing" Grace whispers, I think it's just so I should hear but the room is that silent you could hear a pin drop

"Grace please just tell me"

"Ana I think Teddy has Meningitis, He's in the ICU, He's on a high dose of antibiotics at the moment and he's sleeping, I can take you to him when would like" I think my brain's just been driven in to overload and has decided to shut down, I... I don't know what's going on, I can't make out noises or voices around me I feel numb, My little boy may have Meningitis, How did I not see this? How did I not see that he was unwell? If I had known I would never have left him... _I'm a despicable mother_

"Ana?... Can I come with you when you see Teddy?" At the mention of my son's name I come back in to the room, What did he want? To come to see Teddy with me? No no I can't deal with him that close to me or Teddy, I just can't I need someone who Teddy knows, Someone that Teddy would love to see when he wakes up, I can't talk to him right now, I can't look at him but I know he's looking at me so I shake my head no, I hear a sharp in take of breathe and I can already picture his light grey orbs turning stormy at the notion of him being denied access to something that he now apparently wants

"What? Why?" His voice is no longer gentle and soothing it's now hard and cold, I will not be intimidated by Christian _Fucking_ Grey

"Cause Elliott's coming with me" I whisper as I take a change to glance at Elliott, I can see the pure and untainted love for Teddy in his eyes

"Why is he allowed to see Teddy and I'm not? I'm his father" Christian is now doing his best to turn this round on himself, _Why in every single situation does it all have to be about him?_

"Like you even care" Elliott mumbles, _Oh please Elliott not now, Please keep your mouth shut_

"Of course I care Elliott, He's my son" I see Christian's fists clench together that I am positive if you were to open them up he would have crescent moon imprints on his palms

"Really? Then where were you when Ana was in labour? When Teddy first learnt to roll over? Crawl? Walk? Speak? First birthday? Christmas? First day of school?" Elliott sneers as he leaps up, I understand he's defending Teddy but really does it have to be here and now?

"I was always there Elliott, I always cared" Christian yells as he stands almost knocking the chair over

"Bullshit! You only cared about yourself, You and your precious empire, As long as that was ok it was fuck everything else" They walk towards each other, They are nose to nose, _Shit!_ This is going to turn in to a full-blown fight in a minuet if something doesn't get sorted

"My companies mean nothing, The money means nothing compared to Ana and Teddy, Teddy is my son, If anyone doesn't have the right to be here it's you, Teddy is my flesh. My blood, You aren't even blood related to him" Christian sneer as we all gasp, I feel anger pulsate in side my veins like poison, How dare he, _How fucking dare he_

Elliott loses his cool as he pushes him up against the wall "You were nowhere to be seen, I've been more of a father to that little boy than you have Christian so no you don't have any right to be here and you know it!"

"ENOUGH!" I scream, I've had it, They are both right and wrong at the same time, Kate grabs hold of Elliott and brings him to heel as Grace does the same with Christian, I stand in between them

"I shouldn't have t be dealing with this right now, My little boy is lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life and all you to can do is argue, Elliott, I understand your mad that Christian hasn't been there for him but this isn't your battle ok it's mine and Christian's, I need you to be there for Teddy, Love him and cherish him and be the brilliant uncle that you have always been , Teddy needs his uncle Elliott... Can you do that for me please?" I ask as Kate lets him go and I stare in to his big wide guilty eyes, He knows what I'm saying is true, Elliott gives me a sad look and then he nods his head indicating that he can be there for Teddy and I know he will, Now what to do with Christian?

"Christian... I'm not going to sugar coat this, You are a grown man and you neglected your responsibilities regarding your child, Our child, Teddy is a wonderful beautiful kind little boy, He can be so much like you when you just let yourself, I want Elliott in the room with me because Elliott has been more of a father to Teddy than you have, Nothing can change that Christian, No matter how many times you say your sorry or how many times you say that abandoning me and Teddy was the worst mistake you ever made cause the truth is, You simply weren't there when we needed you, You can not and will not use the _'He is my son'_ card and get what you want, That was removed from you when you walked out of my apartment all those years ago.  
Not everything is about you Christian, Teddy is unwell he's in the hospital and all you can think of is about being denied access to your son, Sorry it ain't going to happen, I say when and or if you can see Teddy and you will either like it or you can leave... End of, No leway, No wriggle room, You either sit your ass and down and prepare for news as and when it comes or you hike your ass out of this hospital and you stay away... Got it?" I finish glaring, I thought I had calmed down talking to Elliott but as soon as I turn to Christian the anger blew up again and I let out some of it on him, Do I feel guilty? No He needed to hear it what's the point in making him think that everything is going to be rainbows and sunshine when it defiantly isn't...

Christian doesn't say anything he doesn't look at me he just nods and re takes his seat, I let out a breathe and decide I want to see my son now that I've sorted the children's argument out, I grab Elliott's hand and see Christian glance up at our conjoined gesture, I roll my eyes and glare at him, I really don't need him going all jealous on me right now, I love Elliott he's been so much a part of my life for years and I would do anything for him, Anything at all but there is nothing romantically going on between me and Elliott hell he's my son's uncle and my best friends husband, I may not have much of a life but I'm not that desperate for a 'father' for Teddy.

Elliott and I leave the relatives room and I let out a breathe, Being in the same room as Christian has always been daunting but now more than ever it feels like the air space becomes denser when ever he is around, I always told myself that I would never let him intimidate me again but he still does it even when he doesn't mean too, Uggg this is so fucked it, I knew I should never have asked him to join me but I felt I owed it to Teddy for him to no who his father is, Now I'm not so sure... _I just don't know what to think anymore_

We stand out side the ICU for what feel's like hours, Elliott wait's patiently for me to compose myself, I try my best I hold my tears and steady my breathing but the second that door opens it's all for nothing, I fall to the floor and sob like a baby, I feel like the world is crashing around me, It gets hard to breath and the room spins, I can hear Elliott calling my name, I can feel him hoist me up but I can't focus on anything, My head becomes fuzzy and then the dark swamps me, I can hear Elliott's voice fade just like everything else in the room and suddenly im alone, In the dark and in the quiet... My thoughts revolve around one person, The one person who means the most to me in the whole entire world, My little blip, My little boy... My Teddy bear.

* * *

A massive hello to all my lovely readers and reviewers, I am so sorry for not updating in a little while I've suffered a case of writers block but thanks to my lovely lovely friend, reviewer and reader ** .7, **Who has helped me with this chapter with some of her amazing idea's I have had enough to set my mind back on track to start writing this story again, She is amazing and I am proud to say she is my friend :)

Thankyou Sue... Love ya sweetie :)

Thankyou all so much please read and review and leave me some lovely comments, I will not leave this story abandoned again :)

Speakfromtheheart x


	8. Chapter 8

Ana

Waking up after my sleep, Fainting fiasco which ever one you want to call it, I realise I am in a bed next to my baby boy, He looks so peaceful, So pale but then again he's always pale he takes after me for that unfortunately.

"Hey, Your awake" Elliott whispers as he walks back in to the hospital room, It's then that I realise that Teddy's in his own private room... Typical, _Christian Grey strikes again, _I don't know why I am so surprised but for some reason I am

"How long have I been asleep?" I whisper back, I don't want to disturb Teddy so we keep our voices low

"A couple of hours, Mom came as soon as I told her that you fainted and she had another bed brought in for you to stay with Teddy" He smiles as he sits in the chair next to Teddy's bed, He gently picks up Teddy's small hand and holds it with parental like care

"Thankyou, Has anyone been in while I've been asleep?" I feel so guilty about fainting and sleeping while my little boy is lying next to me fighting for everything

"Mom, dad , Kate and Mia have all been in, They left a little while ago" Elliott says as he brushes some of Teddy's hair away from his head, I want to ask the question that's on the tip of my tongue but I won't

"He hasn't been in, He hasn't asked to come to see Teddy, Not that I would have even if he would have asked" I breathe a sigh and feel myself relax, I don't know what to do about Christian yet, For now I don't really care

"Thankyou" I whisper again as Elliott gives me a weak smile, I get the feeling he wants to ask me something but somethings stopping him

"Elliott are you ok?" I frown

"No Ana, I'm sorry to ask but mom told me you were with him when Teddy was brought in to hospital, Can I ask why?"

"He served me with custody papers, He wants full custody of Teddy" I feel the need to squeeze my eyes shut so I can't see his reaction but I don't, Elliott's eyes widen and then they harden to a steel-blue, I chew on my and hope he won't go on a killing rampage through the hospital

"Over my dead body is he getting anywhere near Teddy" He spits out, He balls his fists and his breathing becomes heavy, I know he's mad but it's not Elliott's choice it's mine

"Elliott I know you are looking out for Teddy but it's not your decision to make whether or not Teddy meets his father" I mumble as Elliott looks at me like I've grown two heads

"His father? His _father_? How can you say that in the same sentence as _his_ name? He doesn't deserve a son like Teddy, He doesn't a shit about Teddy Ana, I know deep down you still love him but after the way he just walked away from you both I don't understand how you can think about giving him another chance"

"Wow, Wait! Who said anything about me giving Christian another chance? Is that what you all think? That I would jump back in to something with Christian because Teddy's sick? Elliott, Teddy has a right to meet his father regardless what you and the rest of the family think, I love you all you know that and I am so happy and thankful to you all for standing by me and Teddy all these years but Christian is Teddy's father and I have to do what's right and what is right is Teddy knowing Christian"

"I guess you are right but I swear Ana, If he so much as hurts one hair on Teddy's head I will kill him myself"

"I know Elliott and thankyou" We hug quickly as I lean over my baby I feel him stir, I move away from him and see his beautiful baby blue eyes open and I have never felt so much relief and joy ant the same time in my entire life

"Teddy" I whisper as tears prick in my eyes,

"Hi mommy" He smiles and I feel the tears fall down my cheeks, I hug him the best I can without crushing him and I feel his little hand play with my hair

"Hey dude how you doing?" Elliott smiles and Teddy's little face lights up, He loves his uncle Elliott more than anyone else in this world

"Uncle Elliott" Teddy shouts as he untangles himself from me and lunges at him, I guess he's feeling a little better, I can't help the giggle that escapes my throat at the sight of my little boy feeling better

"Hey little man I'm just going to tell Grandma and Grandpa that your awake, I know they would love to see you, Il be back in a min ok" Elliott asks as Teddy gives a small nod and let's go to cuddle in to my side, Elliott winks at me and gives me a small smile and leaves the room, I curl up with my little boy careful not to snag any of his wires, Teddy snuggles in to my chest and soon his breathing becomes soft and shallow and I know he's sleeping again, I hold on to him a little tighter as we both fall asleep.

* * *

"Ana? Ana?" Someone's shaking me awake gently and I pry my eyes open to see that it is Grace, She looks at me and the to Teddy, He's still fast asleep tucked in to my side breathing deeply, I feel myself smile

"How are you feeling darling?" Grace says as she moves the hair off my forehead the same as Elliott did to Teddy earlier, Speaking of earlier what time is it? I look towards the window and realise the sun has already set

"What time is it?" I frown as Grace checks her watch

"It's after 8pm darling" _Holy shit!_ I slept most of the afternoon, I feel my eyes widen and panic set in, I didn't realise I was so God damn tired,

"Ana, Ana calm down it's fine, Everyone's been in to see Teddy and they are all just thankful that he is ok, Thant's all that matters to us, I woke you because I have Teddy's results and thankfully it's not a serious form of meningitis, Teddy has Viral Meningitis, Viral meningitis usually isn't serious for patients with normal immunity, and typically runs an uneventful, albeit potentially uncomfortable, course with little to no complications, Early symptoms, which may develop over several hours or even days, can often be mistaken for the flu. They classically include high fever, headache with a stiff neck, nausea and vomiting, confusion, sleepiness or difficulty waking up, light sensitivity, a decreased appetite, and, rarely, seizures, Teddy had a few of these which is why we suspected Meningitis, Luckily he only has a mild case which he's being treated with antiviral medication to treat the infection, He'll be kept in for a couple of days and then he can go home but he is to be on strict bed rest and lots of fluids." Grace smiles as she tells me the good news and I feel my face is wet once again, I feel so lucky that my little boy is ok, I don't know what I would do without him.

"Thankyou Grace, Thankyou" I gush as I hug her tightly, This woman has been there for me through everything and now she's making my little boy better, I cannot thank this woman more if I were to say thankyou everyday for the rest of my life.

"I'm just happy Teddy will be ok sweetheart, Now I have a matter to speak to you about..." She trails off as her eyes lock on Teddy and I know she's going to ask about Christian

"You want to talk about Christian?" I mumble

"Yes sweetheart, He hasn't moved from the waiting room, He refused to go home until he found out Teddy's results, He's still there now" That means nothing, Maybe he's found those horrible hospital chairs extremely comfortable and he's decided to stay there, Or God forbid he's trying to charm a pretty brunette nurse to sign and NDA and to meet him in his playroom for him to be able to play 'master of the universe'

"Is he?" I sigh, I really don't want to deal with Christian tonight, I don't want to talk to him I just want to curl up with my little boy and thank my lucky stars that he's going to be ok,

"What would you like me to do Ana? It's your call" Grace says calmly but I can see it in her eyes, She's pleading with me to allow Christian in to see his son, I don't want this to happen right now

"Not right now Grace, Maybe tomorrow" I whisper as my eyes focus on the quilt covering my body, All I want to do is fall back to sleep with my little boy by my side, Grace must sence this cause she smiles sadly then kisses both mine and Teddy's heads and then walks towards the door, She turns just before leaving and whispers

"Il tell Christian to come back in the morning, It will be ok dear" She smiles and leaves, I release the breath I didn't realise I was holding and slide back down the bed, Wrapping my Teddy up in my arms and I hold him close to me, Nothing and know one mean more to me than the little boy in this bed with me.

* * *

Christian

My face feels warm, light flows through the windows as I stir in the waiting room, My mother came to see me before she left last night, She told me that she had asked Ana if I could come and see Teddy but apparently Ana said no, Mom told me that I could visit in the morning, _What time is it? _I find the clock hanging on the wall to my right, 5.30 am Teddy and Ana won't be up at this time in the morning surely? Maybe I can just pop my head around the door to check on them then it dawns on me that I have no idea where Teddy's private room is, I asked the hospital to step up his room cause they are family... _What else was I ment to say?_ Teddy has no obvious links to me from just reading his name, Ana has even given him her last name is stead of mine so I have no out right connection to him, If anyone were to ask then we could just say that Ana and Teddy are friends of the Grey family.

I rise and stretch, I feel my back crack from sleeping in those uncomfortable chairs all night, You would think that the amount of money I donate to this hospital would be enough to provide some decent seating for family's and relatives but sadly no, Fuck what the hell do they do with my donations? It must be something damn good or something top secrete cause they sure as hell don't spend it on seating, Beds or food.

I glance around and realise im alone once again, Non of my family have been partly happy to see me and to be quite honest I don't blame them, After the scuffle with Elliott yesterday everyone basically went their separate ways well apart from me, I stayed right here in this waiting room in that very uncomfortable blue, leather effect chair, They only people I saw was Taylor, Gail, Mom and Dad, Taylor spoke about business and waiting upon my orders, Gail was here for Taylor, Mom was working but kept coming back to the family updating them on Teddy's progress and Dad was there for everyone else, know one was there for me, Yes ok I know I sound childish and I shouldn't but I can't help it.

I open the door and pear out looking for anyone who could stand in my way from getting my way, Luckily I don't pass anyone on the way to the nurse's station, A young blond nurse most probably in her early 20's is standing on the other side of the station looking through some paper work, I ding the bell and she jumps 10 ft in the air, She spins on her heel and she gasps, Her eyes move up and down my chest and finally settle on my face, She blushes and I suppress the urge to roll my eyes and snap at her but then I think maybe I can use her attraction to me for my own advantage, I lean on the work top and flash her my panty bursting smile, she bites her lips and slowly walks over to me, _Nope sorry love doesn't have the same effect as it does when Ana does it._

"Hello Sir" She purrs "My name is Becky, How can I help you?" She flutters her eyelashes at me and pushes her blue tunic chest out towards me

"Good morning Becky, You can help me I'm looking for a room of one of your patients" I'm pulling out all the stops on this silly girl just for a room number, I'm sure I could easily ask Taylor and he would tell me but then it would get back to my mom and the rest of the family and I would rather not have another angry Elliott in front of me.

"Who are you looking for Sir? Il see if I can do my very best to assist you" Beck winks and I really need to throw up

"Theodore Raymond Steele, He was brought in yesterday but he was moved to a private room, Could you tell me when he is please?" I smirk as she flushes and nods as she turns to the computer, I keep up the appearance of being interested in her but really I have no desire to get anything from her other than Teddy's room number

"Sir Master Steele is in the ICU, Private room number 50, Anything else I could help you with?" She says as she brushes her fingers across my hand, I withdraw from her grasp quickly and stand straight

"No thankyou Becky, You've been a great help" I smile, turn and walk to the elevators quickly, Stupid little girl, She didn't even ask me if I was family, If she is willing to give hospital room numbers out to every pretty face then this hospital has a real privacy problem, I may have to do something about that, but how to do it without drawing attention to myself? Il have to think on that.

The ride up to ICU feels like it takes forever, I don't know why I feel nervous but I am, _I am Christian Grey I don't do nervous, _The elevator doors slide open and I walk in to the hallway, The private rooms are down the other side of the hall, I walk quickly but feel myself freeze just outside door number 50, I don't know whether or not I should knock just in case Ana is awake, If I knock and she tells me to go to hell at least I've been polite enough not just to walk in but what if I knock and they're both asleep? I could wake Ana or Teddy or both and then I will definitely be in the shit... Uhhh I hate feeling like this, I hate feeling so out of control..._ Just bite the bullet Grey, Knock quietly and then walk in _ok I can do that...

_Deep breath..._

_Knock, Knock..._

_No answer..._

I push the door open slowly and my breath hitches at the sight before me, Ana is curled up on her side, She has her arm wrapped around the tiny little figure on the bed, I can just see his mop of unruly copper hair, He looks comfortable, A little hot but still comfortable.

I walk in to the room and sit on the chair close to the bed, The chair is on Teddy's side, From where I sit I can see both him and Ana clearly, Ana's arm is wrapped around Teddy's waist and Teddy cradles his mothers hands on top of hers, They both look happy and peaceful and I am the outsider once again, I place my head in my hands and think of everything that's happened in the last few years, After Ana told me she was pregnant I was so full of rage, At her , At me... At everyone, I said some truly horrible things to her and tried to make her choose between Teddy and myself and I realise now I should never have done that, Of course she was going to choose him why wouldn't she? She's his mother and she loves him, I always thought Ana would make a wonderful mother one day but I didn't realise that that day or time in her life would actually come sooner than I expected, I mean sure I wanted a life with Ana but that started with marriage and then maybe a kid a few years down the line but it was all in hindsite really, I have never thought about having kids, Not in any great detail and then just as I realized that Ana was the one thing I wanted, She was the thing that would have given up everything for, I told her just as much that I would give up everything for her but really it all ment shit cause when push came to shove I chose to lose Ana and our son over what? What do I have now that's better than them? Fuck all that's what, My life has stayed practically the same apart from one very large detail, I have not had a submissive in my playroom since Ana, Well I don't really have a playroom anymore, After I came home from Ana's I destroyed basically everything in that room, I took my anger out on myself and I took the battle wounds to prove it, The lashings I took from the canes and whips felt good for a short time and then I realised that Ana was never coming back to me, I broke down, The only part of me that worked was my business brain, I stayed in my bedroom and sunk in to depression even more, The drinking started again until Taylor had hand enough I guess and called Flynn, I told him everything that had happened, Everything I said to Ana and that I destroyed my playroom.

_"What do you want to get out of this experience Christian" _Flynn asked as he walked around my distorted playroom, I stayed on the threshold, Not wanting to go back in to that God awful room where my life took it downward spiral

_"Christian?" _Flynn called again and I felt I needed to give him an answer but I just didn't have one, What did I want? What was the reason for doing this? I know I did it in pure anger but Flynn says there must be another reason why I did this... _Why did I destroy my coping mechanism?_

_"I don't know" _I mumble as he sighs, I know he thinks im just being obtuse but I'm really not, I don't know

_"Yes you do Christian, Tell me how you felt when you were destroying your playroom and beating yourself" _

_"I... I don't know" _I sigh as I run my fingers through my hair, I know I need to do all this shit but I really have no answer, Or I think I have no answer_ " I felt angry, Angry at Ana for getting pregnant, Angry at me for losing control and for hurting her the last time she was in here"_

_"Why are you angry that Ana's pregnant with your child?" _Flynn must be losing his mind,_ Is he fucking serious?_

_"Why the fuck do you think I'm angry?" _I sneer, If he's here to take the piss and to be able to leave thinking he's done a good job giving himself a fucking pat on the back he can think again

_"I don't know Christian you tell me" _I know the bastards trying to gode me, Even with his back to me I can tell the fuckers smirking

_"Fuck sake Flynn, I'm angry because... because, I... I'm not in control, She wanted to be punished, She wanted to know how bad it could get so I showed her, She never once used the safe words, Fuck if she had then we wouldn't be in this mess, Ana would still be here with me"_

_"Well that's good but that's not what I asked Christian and you know it, I asked 'Why are you angry that Ana's pregnant with your child'" _I clench my jaw and dig my nails in to my palms, The mantra that flashes through my head is _'DO. NOT. KILL. FLYNN, DO. NOT. KILL. FLYNN'_ I repete it over and over but it does nothing to calm me, I close my eyes and count to _10...20...30..._ By _55_ I'm calming, by _79_ I can think again, Flynn is standing waiting patiently for me reply, My reason... I think and think but apart from the whole loss of control thing there's nothing really in my mind to back up my anger, Ana told me she was ill her last few days in Georgia with her mother I phoned Dr. Greene and asked what he professional opinion was on that and she told me the same thing as she told Ana, That she probably fell pregnant because her pill did not cover her when she was ill, If I had known, If she had thought to inform me that she was ill in the first place I could have looked after her, She could have flown home and I could have been there for her, I could have also used protection until we knew she was completely covered again but she was too stubborn to let me know and I was to pig-headed to think about using protection...

_"So really your both at fault for Ana falling pregnant then" _Flynn asks as I look to him_, Shit did I just say all of that out loud?_

_"Yes Christian I heard everything you said" _The overpriced charlatan states as I glare..._ Not only is he an expensive bastard but he's a fucking mind reader now aswell_

_"Answer the question Christian, Are you both responsible for the life growing inside of Ana or was it an immaculate conception?"_

_'DO. NOT. KILL. FLYNN, DO. NOT. KILL. FLYNN'_

_"Christian?" _He presses

_"YES! WE ARE BOTH AT FAULT ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" _I yell as my anger and frustration gets the better of me, I advance on the good doctor only to freeze as I think about what I've just admitted, We are both at fault for the baby growing inside Ana's beautiful stomach at this hour, minuet, second. I am just as much at fault in the making of this child as Ana is, I blamed her for everything that's happened, I blamed her for getting pregnant, Almost like she tricked me but really she didn't know and neither did I, This baby was, Is a mistake but it's a mistake that Ana has chosen over me and I have to respect that.

_"I am very now... What are you going to do about it?" _Flynn asks as I frown in confusion_, What does he mean? I can't do anything_

_"I mean now you realise that Ana isn't the only own at fault how do you want to proceed with all of this?" _Flynn gestures to the now destroyed red room and I sigh, I don't know I really don't I'm lost again,_ I realise that I miss Ana... Maybe I can start with that_

_"I...I miss Ana" _I whisper

_"Ok and what do you want from Ana?" _He probes again

_"I want Ana back... I need her"_

_"And the baby?" _I stay quiet_, "Christian, How do you feel about the baby? Your baby?" _

I hang my head, I don't want the baby, I'm not ready to be a father, I want Ana that's for sure but I can't be a father, I...I just can't

_"I...I want Ana" _I mumble ashamed of myself

_"But not the baby" _I nod, I feel like a total shit, Know wonder Ana chose the baby over me, Look at what I want, I want the mother but not my child, My flesh, My blood...but I don't want it...

_"Christian, If you ever want Ana in your life again you need to accept and love this child as your own, Ana is protecting her child from danger and if that means choosing between her love for you and the love for her child, I'm sorry Christian but there should be no competition, The baby should win every time"_

I took Flynn's advice to heart, I learnt that I would have to deal with my own shit before I could accept Ana's child- MY child in to my heart, It took nearly 2 years before I could look at Teddy's baby pictures without feeling jealously run through my veins, I know pathetic isn't it, I was jealous of my own child for taking his mother away from me, I know now that Ana didn't choose Teddy over me, She let her mothering instincts kick in and she was protecting him, Just like my birth mother should have done for me but she never did_ Cock Sucking Coke Whore!_

"Excuse me Mister" A small voice pulls me from my thoughts as I raise my head from my hands to see big, clear grey eyes staring in to my own, I swallow hard, He's me but with little bits of Ana, He has Ana's little button nose and her sweet pouty lips not to mention her big clear eyes the only difference is Teddy's are Grey and Ana's are blue, My mom's right he is a little carbon copy of me...

"Yes" I whisper, I don't think my voice will hold if I speak louder

"Could you take me to the toilet please" He whispers as a subtle blush settles over his little cheeks, I feel myself smiling at the simple flush, He looks so much like Ana when she's embarrassed... It's so..._Cute?_

"Um... I'm not sure I'm the person to ask, Il wake your mom" I mumble as I move around the bed, Just as I'm about to put my hand on Ana's should a little hand clasps on top of mine halting my action, His warm hand feels so warm on top of my own

"Please don't wake my mommy Mister, She doesn't get a lot of sleep and I worry about her" Teddy whispers as his eyes fly to Ana, I glance over her and see that he's right, Ana's pale face is more pale, Almost translucent, Her big beautiful eyes have darkening circles under them and she looks very thin and fragile, My heart clenches in my chest, Is she looking after herself? Is she sleeping properly? Obviously not from the look of her, I look back to Teddy and his Gray eyes plead with me not to wake her and I sigh and nod as I walk back round to his side of the bed.

Teddy moves his mother's arm and holds his arms up to me, I gentle slide my arms under him and lift him from the bed, He shivers slightly due to only being in a thin hospital gown so I hold him closer to my chest hoping my body heat will warm him, Just as I move his IV drip it squeaks on the floor and we both freeze as Ana stirs, This is not good, I hope and pray that she doesn't wake cause I know she will over think this, I know what it will look like to her I have Teddy in my arms and I'm wheeling his IV stand away from the bed, She's going to think I'm kidnapping him.

Thankfully Ana doesn't wake she just sighs and rolls over, I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding as I feel Teddy relax in my hold

"Mister?"

"Yeah"

"I need a wee" He blushes again and I chuckle as I walk him in to the en suit bathroom, I deposit him on the toilet and turn my back, I hear a tinkling and I know he's going

"Are you done?" I ask when everything's quiet

"Yes Mister" He whispers back as I lift him from the toilet and walk him back to the bed, Placing him down gently as to not hurt him, I cover him back up and sit down

"Thankyou for taking me to the toilet Mister" He whispers as he looks from Ana to me, probably making sure she's still sleeping, I smile and nod

"My names Theodore but everyone calls me Teddy" He introduces himself as he holds out his hand

"My names Christian" I shake his little hand and he smiles

"I know, You came to my birthday party" He mumbles "You didn't bring me a present"

My smile fades as I remember peaking around the corner at my parent's home watching him happily open his presents from his loved ones

"Yeah sorry" I whisper as I don't know what else to say to him

"It's ok, I forgave you" He smirks and I see he has my facial expressions, It's strange but a good strange

"Thanks" I chuckle again as he giggles, His laugh is so similar to Ana's, I guess it did take both of us to make him

"Do you know my mommy?" Teddy asks looking from her to me

"Yes, Me and your mommy were friends" I mumble

Teddy gasps and his beautiful Gray eyes widen

"Are you my daddy?" He whispers as I hear another gasp

"Christian?"

_Shit!_

* * *

_AN: Hi guys, I'm sorry for deserting you all again I've been in hospital for the last couple of days so I haven't been able to post anything without my computer, I'm really sorry for keeping you all waiting so here is an extra long chapter for you all... Please read and review I love reading them all..._

_Laters, Baby _

_Speakfromtheheart x _


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